Deciding whether to maintain anonymity or take a more open approach in donor conception is a personal choice for intended parents.
Those pursuing assisted reproduction typically have two options: using a fertility clinic or seeking a known donor. Each option presents unique advantages, challenges, and decisions about openness.
Openness, common in adoption and increasingly in assisted reproduction, allows genetic parents to stay in contact with the child without presumptively assuming parental rights. While donors have no legal claims, the child can choose to have a relationship with their genetic parent and may access the donor’s contact information once they turn 18 years of age.
Fertility clinics offer intended parents the choice of openness if the donor agrees, or full anonymity. If the donor is known to the parents, this should be specified in a pre-conception agreement.
Why Choose Openness?
In today’s digital age, true anonymity is harder to maintain. With the rise of ancestry and DNA testing services, genetic matches are made daily, both intentionally and accidentally. As a result, attempts to conceal donor identities may ultimately be ineffective.
Secrecy about a child’s conception can harm the parent-child relationship. Openness fosters trust, helps the child understand their identity, and can create a broader support system, adding love and connection while preserving the parents’ legal rights.
Openness also provides access to important medical information. A known donor relationship ensures ongoing access to family medical history, which can be vital for future health concerns.
Why Maintain Anonymity?
While openness offers benefits, it may not suit every family. Involving a donor can create complex emotional and legal dynamics, with the risk that the donor may seek influence beyond the original agreement.
Clear boundaries and a legally binding pre-conception agreement can define the donor’s role in the child’s life. However, some intended parents may prefer complete anonymity to avoid potential challenges.
Donors have a right to privacy, and for some, anonymity is essential to protect their personal lives. Intended parents may feel that anonymity offers greater security and control over their family’s future.
The Legal Risks of Not Establishing Clear Agreements
A major challenge for intended parents is the risk of legal disputes if they don’t protect their parental rights. Without a clear pre-conception agreement, a donor may claim parental rights or be legally recognized as a parent, leading to parenting battles or decision-making disputes.
In some jurisdictions, an informal donor agreement may not be enforceable, potentially recognizing the donor as a legal parent, which could lead to child support claims or parenting disputes.
Intended parents using a known donor should consult a fertility lawyer to draft an agreement outlining parental rights, responsibilities, and boundaries. Without this protection, the parent’s legal standing may be challenged, creating uncertainty for both the parents and the child.
Making the Right Choice for Your Family
Ultimately, choosing between openness or anonymity is a personal decision based on each family’s circumstances. Intended parents must consider the long-term impact on themselves and the child. By weighing the benefits and risks, they can make an informed choice that aligns with their values and fosters a healthy, loving family dynamic.
Author: Alaina Woolfrey with the assistance of Sara Bragaglia, JD candidate with the University of Ottawa, PBSC.
