Separation or divorce can be a difficult time for families, especially when children are involved.
One of the most important decisions parents need to make is how to share time with their children. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The right parenting schedule depends on what works best for your children — and that means focusing on the children’s needs, not just the parents’ preferences.
The best parenting schedule is one that supports your child’s emotional well-being, stability, and daily routine. This often depends on the child’s age, personality, school schedule, medical needs and relationship with each parent.
For Children Under 12
Younger children tend to do better with frequent contact with both parents. Long periods of separation can be harder for them to handle. Two common parenting schedules for children under 12 are:
- 2-2-3 Schedule: Your child spends two days with one parent, then two days with the other, and then three days with the first parent. The next week, it switches. This allows children to see both parents often.
- 2-2-5-5 Schedule: Your child spends two days with each parent, then five days with one, and five days with the other. This still offers regular contact, but with slightly longer periods with each parent.
These schedules help children feel secure and stay connected with both parents. They also work well when parents live near each other and can communicate easily.
For Children Over 12
Older children, especially teenagers, often need a bit more stability and time in one place. Their school, social life, and activities can be disrupted by too much moving back and forth. For this age group, a week-about schedule might work best.
- Week-About Schedule: The child spends one full week with one parent, then one full week with the other. This gives the child more time to settle into each home and can reduce the stress of frequent transitions.
Of course, teens should also have a say in the schedule. As they grow, they may want more input into their routines and may have strong opinions about what works best for them. An older child’s views and preferences on the parenting schedule can be a persuasive factor in determining the best parenting arrangement.
Keep the Focus on the Children
Whatever schedule you choose, the most important thing is that it supports the best interests of your children. That includes keeping a stable routine, limiting conflict between parents, and making sure the children feel safe and loved in both homes.
You may need to adjust the schedule over time as your children grow and their needs change. That’s okay — parenting after separation is a journey, and flexibility can make a big difference.
